'We all just want to be famous'

Reality TV has become a self-fulfilling prophecy

Those of us lucky enough to have experienced a childhood without social media will know what it’s like to “pretend” to be famous. We’ll most likely have acted out our favourite scenes from films or TV shows – forcing our toys, friends or younger siblings to take part.

And while some of them may have been filmed in the hope of a cash prize from You’ve Been Framed, for the most part, they remain “pretend”. They were dreams expressed as freely as we wanted so no matter how silly or unrealistic, they were ours to dream with as we saw fit.

Enter the noughties with its hype of putting everything online and suddenly the world exploded with normal people behind the screen. The Apart from Cribs (on MTV which I was definitely not allowed to watch), the first reality show to really enter my consciousness was Big Brother and even then I wasn’t fully interested. Real people stuck together in a real house? Big deal, when I got to uni I realised it felt very similar and was therefore nothing to shout about.

But then people start getting really glamorous online, like seriously hot. And it wasn’t just models and actors, it was previously unknowns; the X-Factor effect taking place on and off that much-loved show. And didn’t we just love seeing ordinary people becoming extraordinary! We loved the make overs and the new outfits and the newly packaged star like a special edition Barbie with accessories.

It was a whole new world, until it got us all thinking, hang on, if Susan (Boyle) from next door can get on stage, why can’t I? Enter: Influencers. I don’t know when this word became commonplace but at some point, these self-made stars suddenly shot up the celebrity alphabet to sit alongside the A team. They go to the same parties, they dress the same, they have the same personal trainers and the same clout at fashion weeks.

[surely] the glass ceiling would be easily shattered with just a poke from the sole pair of Louboutins in my non-walk-in wardrobe?

I’m amazed, mostly, at how much the media industry has changed and what makes people popular and what makes things sell. But until I came off social media a few years ago, I remember thinking that while previously my peers were my friends, family and colleagues, suddenly there was pressure, quite literally, to Keep up with the Kardashians.

It didn’t seem possible that there was a K-star logging onto her IG app (just like me!) and navigating the new features to post a story that would get people tapping, liking and sharing. Surely if we were all working with the same equipment, the playing field is open and the glass ceiling would be easily shattered with just a poke from the sole pair of Louboutins in my non-walk-in wardrobe?

Except – and those of you who have worked hard to build up a following will know – it’s really not that simple. Not always, anyway. Not only are you competing with millions of other users and their exhilarating content, but everyone is as much a voyeur as a performer. We’re posting ourselves to “screens” all over the world, and then we’re watching everyone else who has done the same. It’s like experiencing university over Zoom.

Right now, the market is hugely saturated and people are making noises of discontent; unfair algorithms and censored posts. I’m intrigued now, to see how far things will go. What happens next and what will become of our fame then?

Tola x

I’m  the editor and creative director at Premier Woman Alive and co-host of the YouTube show Sisterhood. In 2019, I delivered a TEDx Talk on Debunking the Myth of Success and my first book, 'Still Standing:100 Lessons From An 'Unsuccessful' Life' (SPCK) is out now.