‘This is what joy looks like’

Situations may change but the way we respond to things can stay the same

When I got back from London yesterday, a friend said, ‘You’ve changed’. And I knew exactly what this meant. On Saturday I travelled up to interview and shoot our June cover for the women’s magazine I edit and the experience left me with a lasting glow. 

As you’ll know, either from our friendship, these weekly updates or following me on social media, I am all about joy. Joy is (what I believe to be) the sentiment of my favourite scripture; John 10:10 which reads, ‘The thief came to kill, steal and destroy. I came that you may have life and have it more abundantly.’ Despite experiencing some pretty heavy things in my 20s including baby loss, divorce, estrangement and a cult, my mission has always been to fill and live my life with this precious often seemingly unattainable three letter word. And then I met Tina.

My friend and deputy Jemimah put me in touch with Tina when I put a call out to my team for “a Christian Vivienne Westwood”. Ironically, I don’t like describing people using someone else as an example but I really wanted a radical woman of style who could also encapsulate the joie de vivre I long for women to lean into. In my last year of university I started a short-lived blog titled, Christ Couture and this name was intended to represent the detail, care and attention with which we have been created by God. Couture is described as high-end, custom-made fashion. We’re all a bit obsessed with vintage and charity finds at the moment; rightly eschewing fast fashion for threads that already exist and have stood the test of time. But the reason they’re still around and still being worn is that these older garments were made to last. I often hear people quote from Psalm 139 which reads in verse 14: ‘I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.’ But how much do we really believe that?

When doing my background research into Tina I quickly became obsessed with her IG feed. Who was this incredible woman swanning around in technicolour Gucci, Miu Miu and Missoni alongside sparkly decorated crocs? An old friend said she reminded him of me and I laughed because she is perhaps the version of myself that I haven’t quite grown into yet. The fearless part that is currently sleeping. When I met Tina she swept me into her arms with a huge smile and matching hug and I immediately knew it was going to be a good day. Jess, the photographer and I spent about five hours talking and shooting with our “Christian Vivienne Westwood” and were enamoured by the contents of her extensive wardrobe. But this wasn’t (purely) a fashion shoot. Tina, married at 19, told she would never have children and now mum of 6, has not had an easy ride. Has anyone? And yet she emits the kind of energy that makes you want what she’s got. And what she’s got, is Jesus. 

I used to think evangelising was about trying to win people over for Christ by proclaiming what an amazing trouble-free life I have. But that’s not it at all and if we do that, we’re lying. I’m not saying that we won’t live a good life, but maybe we need to consider what that might look like. We’re drawn to people like Tina (and Suzie, who I interviewed for the March issue of the magazine - read it here) because of their absolute passion for life, not because of what they have or haven’t gone through. Both of these amazing women have really challenged me to keep sharing the bits of my life that might not look so rosy - not to give it a platform but to show that despite the pain you really can live a life of joy and that’s one that Jesus came to give.

You’ll have to hold on for the June issue of Woman Alive to read the article but you can access all our online content here while you wait!

Doll x

PS. I have exciting news to share: You can now read Still Standing in the new Substack app for iPhone.

With the app, you’ll have a dedicated Inbox for my Substack and any others you subscribe to. New posts will never get lost in your email filters, or stuck in spam. Longer posts will never cut-off by your email app. Comments and rich media will all work seamlessly. Overall, it’s a big upgrade to the reading experience.

The Substack app is currently available for iOS. If you don’t have an Apple device, you can join the Android waitlist here.