I’ve finally realised it’s okay to be black...

Why I turned down a modelling job because of my Afro

Two days ago, I was asked to do a modelling job. Those who grew up with me, know that modelling full-time was a one-time dream of mine. There’s a photo of me, at about eight years old, standing in front of mum’s white panelled kitchen door, dressed in a baby pink satin mini skirt and matching white cropped tee with a baby pink heart motif in the centre. Mum took that photo to send to a nearby modelling agency, Elizabeth Smith. It was conveniently only a short drive away and it was a children’s agency so seemed kismet. I don’t know if they ever replied, but they definitely didn’t take me on and that was the last time mum ever talked about modelling with me. 

I didn’t understand about racial bias at the time

But I was still desperate to model, even if no one would have me. I remember meeting a B-list celebrity who told me I should look into modelling and I beamed under the gaze of her praise. Aged about 15, I dragged my then best friend along with me to Elizabeth Smith and asked if we could work there; if not as models, then at least in the office. I was sure that they’d take one look at us both and realise what a catch we both were. At that point the only black woman I ever saw on catwalks was Naomi Campbell but I had so many people tell me I should do it, and more importantly, I wanted to do it, that it felt like a fait accompli. As for my best friend, she was a beautiful red head with porcelain white freckled skin; the complete opposite of me and I imagined us doing shoots as a duo and travelling the world together. I had it all planned out…