'I’m not waiting patiently but I’m waiting nonetheless...’

Apparently, delayed gratification is the best way to build character

‘Waaaiiiiit. Waaaaiiiiiit. Waaaaiiiit!’ As I repeated this instruction to my friend’s dog (and in doing so, going against the rule about not repeating a word because it then starts to lose any meaning for the dog  whose obedience is sought), Bella looked up at me eagerly, tail wagging because she knew I had a treat in my closed fist. When I opened it up to reveal what was inside, I still requested she remain seated, using the same command: Wait. Because she has been trained well by her owner, Bella did actually wait until I released her from her sitting position before jumping up and grabbing her well-deserved dog biscuit. Watching her, I did wonder about her power of restraint and my complete lack of. So here we go, another dog analogy. 

I don’t know if it’s the change in seasons or my return home after almost six months away, but I’ve been deep in thought recently about the things in my life that have gone to plan, and the things that haven’t. I’ve thought about the things I started but didn’t finish, piano lessons being one of them. Despite passing my first exam with honours, I didn’t want to put in the work required to “wait” to become really good at it. The waiting meant not being perfect immediately and seemingly having to rest in the same space until I learned enough to go to the next level. When I see my sister sit down at any piano in the world and start playing beautiful music, I think: this is someone who knows how to wait. I remember as a child hearing her nimble fingers going over the same scales every morning over and over again. It must have been tough for her but years later her resolve to wait it out has proven worth it and she is now an exceptional pianist. 

A friend recently told me that about five years ago, her friend had prophesied about the situation my friend is in right now. Apparently she had said it would happen soon. Now soon, to me, is like tomorrow. Or at the very latest, next week. Not in FIVE YEARS. That’s the kind of waiting I struggle with. Knowing something is coming but also that I might end up in another tick box on the census forms before it arrives. The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment was a study on delayed gratification in 1972 and Wiki explains it like this: In this study, a child was offered a choice between one small but immediate reward, or two small rewards if they waited for a period of time. During this time, the researcher left the room for about 15 minutes and then returned. The reward was either a marshmallow or pretzel stick, depending on the child's preference. In follow-up studies, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes. 

Better life outcomes. Like my sister becoming a highly gifted pianist. Or like my friend, who is currently living her best life and is eternally grateful for not making an interim decision which would have completely thrown her off the trajectory she is on right now. 

I hate waiting but alas, waiting is a part of life. As discovered by those of us who couldn't get an Ocado delivery for love nor money at the height of The Pandemic. But there’s an obedience that builds character while you’re waiting. And sure, sometimes, like with the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, it’s that you have to try and bypass the small treat so you can get to the big one. But often I find, it’s not really about the bigger thing, it’s about what’s happening in the waiting. The treat I held in my closed fist for Bella wasn’t a particularly big treat, and I wasn’t offering her a better one if she waited longer; I just wanted her to wait. Because once that discipline had been instilled, I knew there would be greater potential for her to learn even more.

So yes, the things we are waiting for are important (to us) and there’s nothing wrong with wanting them. But the discipline we learn from the waiting puts us in a greater position for God to use us to encourage, love and share with other people. Will it be hard? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes! For our joy and for His glory.

Doll x