‘I don’t own a house but I do have my health’

There are many things we can invest in, and financial capital is just one of them

I was talking with a friend the other day about investments. We discussed crypto currency - which I still don’t fully understand - as well as the traditional financial options in land, art, bricks and mortar and stocks and shares. The word investment is defined in the Cambridge dictionary as: the act of putting money, effort, time, etc. into something to make a profit or get an advantage, or the money, effort, time, etc. used to do this.

Now that I’m out of hospital and back to work and real life I’ve been thinking about my money a lot more. I’m lucky, I think; I grew up with parents who encouraged me to do what I enjoyed rather than what would give me the most income. But the older I get, with one divorce, two broken homes and no capital behind me, I sometimes wonder if I did the right thing.

A smattering of friends have bought houses recently. For some it is a virgin entry into home ownership and for others it is a second or third foray. Some have had help from The Bank of Mum and Dad, all have had help from The Bank. The more I listen to the stories of wonder (‘we got the keys today and we finally have our own front door!’) and woe (‘there was damp under the floorboards and now our boiler is broken!’), it seems like something I should aspire to. Something I should be doing; something I should already have done. The truth is, I did own a home with my husband - which he bought - and it was fine but I wasn’t particularly enamoured with it because at the time,  it wasn’t an investment I was that interested in. I was in my early 20s when we got together, he was in his 30s. He decided it was time he got his foot on the property ladder, and it was my job to decorate it so that it actually looked like a home and not a bachelor pad. I was 24, all I wanted to do was get my foot into journalism and/or modelling. And so that is where I focused my attention.

But now I’m in my 30s, and I’ve recently moved house for the third time in about four years and I’m over it. I told my friend that far from running away from the “fear” of settling down, I want to be stuck. I want the same postcode to at the very least, match the lifespan of my British passport. I want to see my neighbour’s children growing up. I want to see the effect of the seasons year in, year out on the greenery I imagine I’ll be surrounded by. I want to have to refit my kitchen because the new one I put in is starting to look a little worn. I want to be stuck - because that no longer feels like a prison sentence to me. 

I’m not - at present - in the financial position to do that and sometimes that makes me feel sad. I look back at my decision making in my late teens, early and late 20s and wonder whether I could or should have done anything differently. One or ten less avocado brunch outings perhaps? One less coffee a week? Something where a cut back could have been an investment into something else. And then I got a call from my oncology team with the results from my recent blood test. Since deciding not to go ahead with the recommended chemotherapy treatment, focusing instead on a complete diet overhaul (which, most importantly includes pressing the delete button on gluten), my healing has been supernaturally fast and my blood test results remain good, months after that decision. I felt a nudge from God to make this move last July, followed by the focus on improving my health and I see now that there was a real kind of investment there. I spoke to a non-MD health professional and he said the hardest thing for him was watching people who were really struggling with their health either unwilling to make those difficult diet changes, or disbelieving it would make any difference. But you can’t buy health, and I learned from my very short experience of being quite drastically unwell, that this kind of investment is actually quite important.

I realise, looking again at the definition of “investment”, that I also put a lot of effort into my career. I’ve worked hard to get into the industry I studied for and I have worked my way up while taking every opportunity to grow in other areas too - like my TEDx Talk and publishing my first book. These things will often feel particularly hard-won but seen as an investment, I can see there is also wisdom in the decision to pursue them. I meet people all the time who have invested in different things over the years and like me, they seem to focus on the areas in which they’ve perhaps paid a little less attention. Women who have given up their careers outside the home to be caregivers to children and/or husbands is a prime example. One of my friends has four children. Between them they have ballet, music, acting, modelling and football lessons with many other extra curricular activities thrown in on the weekends. Whenever I hear her sigh wearily at the lack of investment in property or her own career I get so confused. She’s literally creating a path for the next generation which is one of the biggest investments we can make.

Everyone prioritises things differently. For some, cash is the thing, for others it might be a mortgage or a car or children - I even met someone recently who said they primarily prioritise pleasure. And why not? The time we have on this earth is actually quite short; we should choose what we invest in wisely.

Personally, I still feel a bit frustrated about not having my own house and being so ill last year put me in a financial state that makes this ideal now seem rather daunting, but a “should, woulda, coulda” mentality is unhelpful musing. Realising that house ownership is something I want is a relatively new revelation, so my investment starts now.

There will be many reading who have homes they own and have worked particularly hard for and these are investments to be celebrated - please know that I’m not trying to make anyone feel guilty for this worthy achievement! But you don’t need to hear congratulations from me, because the world already celebrates these kinds of investments. But if you are someone who dreads small talk at parties because it leaves you feeling less than, I would urge you to think about what’s really important to you. Consider where you have put your energy in the last few years and celebrate where that has led you to. Consider also where there may have been things outside of your control, and you really need to be kind to yourself about that.

The things we invest in are important but if you ever feel frustrated - as I do - about where you are not, know that with God, nothing is wasted. And I hope this scripture encourages you to remember that: 

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

Doll x