Harry: 'I've always felt like this was a fight worth fighting for'

The second part of Harry and Meghan's Netflix documentary series made me angry. Here's why I think it should have pissed you off too...

Get strapped in; this is a long one.

For Full disclosure I want you to know that going into this I am biased. I am biased because I hate to see people suffering. And what I see on this documentary, is people suffering. Maybe if I saw the full extent to which other members of the royal family are/were (if at all) suffering or tabloid reporters morose while typing out their vulgar headlines, then perhaps I might not be so biased. But I am.

Cleverer people than I have taken time to vocalise their views on their own platforms, in interviews and also in Harry and Meghan’s Netflix documentary. Articulate statements have been put forward detailing exactly what Harry and especially Meghan experienced during what has been a relatively short time as a married couple. I’m guessing you’ve read those so I don’t need to rehash it.

However, I’m interested to know what conclusion you came to. Has the couple let down the royal family? Has the British press simply been reporting for duty and doing nothing wrong in their coverage? Should Meghan (as has been suggested in several tweets) just f*** off and die? Or, as Jeremy Clarkson suggested in an article printed in The Sun, be ‘made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant, “Shame!” and throw lumps of excrement at her’? As a Christian, I’m familiar with a similar sounding scenario described in John chapter 8:

8 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.

Readers, it is deeply worrying, that human beings can spout such venomous examples of hatred towards another. And yet dare I say I’m not surprised.

David Adetayo Olusoga OBE, (British historian, writer, broadcaster, presenter and film-maker) was one of the voices on the documentary and he commented that the UK tabloid ‘lives on outrage and monetizes anger’. Meghan herself also says, ‘The truth doesn’t matter, clickbait does.’ Speaking as a journalist I can say that this is true even in the Christian media I primarily work in. Not so much that the truth doesn’t matter, but that clickbait does. And what is clickbait? It is the kind of gossipy content that we seem consistently drawn to: Scandal, accusations, drama, unrest at someone else’s expense. Pure schadenfreude.

If we’re honest, this is the kind of content we look to when it comes to the famous people we see from afar and may never get close to. In the case of the royal family, it’s like a game isn’t it? Has a prince misbehaved? Ooh let’s see what happens to them now!

Some have argued that the hatred towards Meghan is not unique compared with that extended to other women who have married into the royal family. I remember when Kate was dating William and they dug out photos of her modelling at a university fashion show; shaming her for showing off her body. There was also a lot of sniping about the fact that her parents were event planners meaning they worked for a living and made their own money – how terribly middle-class of them.

Coming from a Christian perspective, let’s talk about speaking up for the oppressed…

We’re shown clips of the late Princess Diana literally running from the press. Kate didn’t run and her resilience has meant she is still married to William and they have three children. But at what expense? Last week I heard a guest on one of my favourite podcasts say it was irrelevant whether these women are happy or not because that they know what they are marrying into and that the job of the royal family is one of service not happiness. His advice was they should basically suck it up. Okay. Kate suffered and seemingly “survived”, ergo everyone should suffer and shut up right? Aren’t we getting tired of telling women to shut up and deal? Is all this negative energy towards Meghan simply because she didn’t want to? How are we still fighting this battle to be treated with compassion…in 2022?  There’s definitely an underlying tone of superiority from those who don’t complain about their problems, they keep a stiff upper lip and don’t talk about it. And how’s that mental health crisis working out for you Britain?

Although if the British public is going to endorse keeping schtum then full kudos needs to go to Gloria, Meghan’s mother who has SOMEHOW managed to stay completely clear of any bad press and remains dignified; refusing to utter any slander which would be rightly justified given the treatment of her daughter. (If you want proof then feel free to pick between Facebook and Twitter.) The woman generally conducts hereself with a standard level of elegance and I also love that she is unapologetically herself. Bet that’s the first time they’ve had a nose piercing on a ma-in-law at a royal wedding. What a QUEEN.

In one of his interviews, Harry said that people don’t expect someone who has not been born into royalty to be better at dealing with the pressure that comes with it, then someone who is. This is particularly evident in this series. Meghan, a trained actress and accomplished speaker is almost always camera-ready whereas it looks like Harry wants to hide every time he sees a microphone. We sometimes dismiss American children as precocious show offs but perhaps the UK should follow America’s example of “Show and Tell” in school to prepare children for public speaking and/or taking over the world…

Something to note at this point is a public comment shown in one of the episodes which read: ‘Of course she’s manipulating the media. Good for her I say! They manipulate us enough’.  

Was Harry really forced to leave?

If I’m honest, I find the whole family born to rule thing just a little bit troubling. Do we in non-believing majority Britain really think that the British Royal family has been chosen by God to sit on the throne and rule over us? And if so, are we afraid Meghan is going to burn our “golden calf” leaving us nothing left to worship?

At one point in the documentary, Harry says, ‘I wish I knew what to do’ and his heavily pregnant wife goes to give him a cuddle. This is a man who knows he can’t protect his family but in this instance it looks like his wife can. #Proverbs31Woman

Two month before the wedding, out of respect for the Queen as head of the Church of England, Meghan was baptised with holy water from the Jordan River in a very private ceremony conducted by the Archbishop of Canterbury. After the wedding, she had a boy and then a girl. Not sure what she did wrong to be honest. But from the looks of it, Harry’s family, friends and countrymen weren’t able to protect them from the vile treatment of the tabloids (‘I’m going to miss the British public, I’m not going to miss the British press’ – Harry) so they hotfooted it to the States. And there, Meghan, an only child of divorced parents, was able to usher her husband from one of the largest and well known families in the world and their children into what looks to be a safe and loving community.

As tennis star Serena Williams rightly says in the doc, ‘They’re creating their own family and friends can be family too.’

‘I get to do things with our kids I could never do in the UK’ says Harry, presumably because everyone in LA has main character syndrome so they’re not likely to be impressed by some uppity royals rocking up from London.

And Harry insists he was not coerced: ‘I came here because I’d changed, to the point where I’d outgrown my environment… I genuinely feel like I and we are exactly where we’re supposed to be.’

If Harry’s previous girlfriends were leaving him because of the pressure, I’m now wondering…did Meghan in fact save Harry??

Let’s talk about how a black American rescued Harry and Meghan when no one else would/could

Admittedly expecting to live a normal life just because you officially give up your duties in the royal family seems a bit naïve but it also seemed a bit harsh to take away their security right away, knowing that they will still face a barrage of violent interest from tabloids. Nevertheless, Tyler Perry, American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright (Net worth: 1 billion USD – look I know it’s vulgar to talk about money but, context) is the one who rescued them, putting them up in his house where they remained in secret for almost two months in 2020.

This is more interesting when you discover that Harry and Meghan had never met Tyler before. In the series, Meghan recalls that Tyler had sent her a message before the wedding: ‘He said he was praying for me, and if I ever need anything, he would be there.’

In the final episode, Meghan tells Harry that she just got a text from Beyoncé: ‘She thinks I was selected to break generational curses that need to be healed.’ Both look thoughtful and Harry says ‘hmm that’s well said’. I’ve not heard anyone mention this and why would they, because this is the one reference to the spiritual which most Christians like to pretend doesn’t exist. And there always is one because we do not war against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities of the spirit world. (Ephesians 6:12)

The idea of generational curses comes from Exodus 34:7 in which it says that “he [God] does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.”

Last week, I wrote about the problematic legacy of the British colonies and impact of the monarchy on other regions. Yes there has been good, but at what lasting cost to the countries invaded and ruled over?

All families have problems and due to aforementioned stiff upper lip energy I think it’s fair to say that Harry’s family has had their share of unpleasantness going on behind the palace walls. Could it be that Beyoncé’s message is perhaps not without merit?

Can we all just take a minute to BE KIND

Giles Fraser penned a piece for UnHerd this week with the headline: Harry and Meghan’s moral exile. The subhead was: The couple embodies the ethics of narcissism.

And okay maybe there is a bit of narcissism here because who on earth has the foresight to create that much B-roll for their own future Hollywood movie? But Meg is not just an actress but a clever one and ironically, a woman with this much wisdom is exactly what the British Royal family needs to improve their brand. This dismissiveness towards the aesthetics points to typical British snobbery in which we quickly shut down anything remotely glossy. Think American pearly whites vs Britain’s wonky ones (unless you’re from Essex where they clearly have all the best dentists).

However! I bring this to your attention not because of the article itself but because of the comments. One of which reads:

QUOTE: And now he’s claiming that the stress from the press caused his wife’s miscarriage. True, or a grifting/spin/manipulation? Clue: there is no evidence, none, that stress causes miscarriage – which kinda makes sense when you embrace the robustness and importance of reproduction: women carry to term in bomb shelters, prisons, and abusive relationships; pregnancy is itself generally stressfull; and, if I may make a little assumption, that most women with successful pregnancies have, throughout history and prehistory, experienced rather more stress that the duchess.[SIC]

Oh Dominic A. Just what we need, another man telling women what gives them the right to have a miscarriage.

In 2012, I lost a baby shortly after birth. Earlier that day, lying in a hospital bed I’d been told by a male doctor that I could go home because I was fine and wasn’t going to have the baby any time soon. I was adamant that something was wrong and in the end I think I annoyed him with my persistence so he let me stay. Several hours later my daughter was born by spontaneous labour and then died because I wasn’t prepared to give birth to her.

Like I said, I just love it when men tell women what’s really going on in their reproductive systems.

Please just be kind.

Whatever you (think you) know about Harry, Meghan, the British Royal Family or the British Press, and whatever your allegiances, I hope this poem reminds you - as it has me - that acceptance and support of the torrent of abuse this couple has faced is a very slippery slope…

First They Came by Pastor Martin Niemöller

First they came for the Communists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Communist

Then they came for the Socialists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Jew

Then they came for me

And there was no one left

To speak out for me.

Tola x

PS. Just an observation, why are rich people obsessed with white sofas? They just make me paranoid about spotting.